Thursday 28 January 2016

Blog Reader With a Heartless And Irresponsible Husband Needs Advise

Dearest Laila, This is my first mail to you although I have been on the blog since April 2014. I know you are a banker so you may relate to my struggle so I decided to write you about the situation I am going through. 
I am also a banker and my husband who have been living abroad for almost 8 years was repatriated early last year from Spain. He didnt tell me the truth about what happened but I knew he actually ran away from the country over some deal which went wrong and the law was onto him so he escaped back home and since then I've been the one footing the bills. Since he came back, he has been tormenting my life, Although he came back with nothing because his Spanish wife wouldn't allow him leave with a pin, he even left his children with the woman over there and ran home to maltreat and boss me around even though I foot the bills.
He started by accusing me of not being a good mom to our boys and not being domestic enough. He went on to sack one of the 2 house helps who lives with me. I didnt know he sacked that one so he can be free to fuck the other one at his convenience. I became suspicious because the one he sacked was more of the responsible born again type while he left the other voluptuous one who I knew was promiscuous and lose. I asked him why, he said that the other one who he sacked was an excess luggage and that a responsible married woman does not need 2 house-helps so he sacked the one who was less industrious. I tried to explain that the one he sacked was a cook while the one he left behind was a nanny for the kids but he said he is the man of the house and that his decision is final. Not quite long though, The remaining help who should be around 16 but is fully matured with heavy breast and bum started looking different, started using a phone I didnt buy and changing new cloths which I also didnt buy. my neighbors also began to hint me that allowing a jobless stay at home husband and a voluptuous and lose house help at home alone is wrong. I began to  observe them and slowly discovered that the girls attitude and regards for me started dropping. I needed no soothsayer to tell me that they were humping behind me so I fired the girl. Since then, all hell was let lose, I got a smaller house-help who was around 12 but he refused and threw the poor girls things out. I suggested we bring his cousin from the village to help me, he refused.
If I tell you the stress i have been going through since the, you will cry for me. i resorted to taking my kids to my parents place at Ketu on Mondays and then get them home on Fridays so they could be assisting me with the school run and taking care of them because I cant quit the job because the entire family including him is dependent on me.
Because of the nature and traffic in Lagos, I leave home as early as 4:30am and get home sometimes by 9:30. But I get home every night tired and hungry and my husband expects me to cook for us. When I buy food outside or make noodles, he refuse to eat. I force my self to make food on Sundays and stock the fridge with soups and stews but this man will still wait for me to come home by 9pmn and start boiling rice or making eba. Even though he has been home all day doing nothing other than browsing, drinking beer and watching movies. I even have to wash the dishes and do all the chores every night when I get home which is very disheartening considering he is unemployed at the moment.
Please is it wrong for a man to help out in the house? at least make dinner on weekdays? Is it wrong for a man to cook his wife dinner?
Please Lailans, I need help. I dont know what to do any more. I am frustrated and loosing my mind.
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