Nigerian Female Celebs Are Bad at Choosing Men – Etcetera Reveals
Our
female celebrities should admit that they are horrible at choosing
their men. And as a celebrity, destroying your man publicly makes you
look stupid because you are the one who chose to be with him in the
first place. Most of you ladies want a perfect man because you have a
natural need to want to fix something about him.
And
when it fails, of course, it becomes his fault for being who he always
was. Even if the guy you married was the most disgusting pig in the
whole universe, you should admit that lowering your standards so
severely was your choice.
Every divorce is built on those things that were created during courtship.
Every divorce is built on those things that were created during courtship.
It
is during this time that the future of a marriage is decided. If you
don’t have the ability to analyse what was injected into your brain
during those few critical years or months of courtship, then whatever
happens in your marriage is your funeral, not ours.
Must
all celebrities publicly play the blame game at the end of their
marriages, assigning blames like football fans after a bad match day?
Must they turn their divorces into a bride versus groom contest with
their fans taking sides? Trust the Nigerian press and bloggers who are
ever too quick to join the accusation bandwagon to exonerate their
preferred spouse without proper investigation.
I
wonder why Naija Bet hasn’t thought of adding a slot on their platform
for forecasting the longevity of celebrity marriages in Nigeria. It is
much easier to predict how long a Nigerian celebrity marriage will last
these days than the scoreline of a Chelsea FC versus Arsenal FC match.
When
you get right down to the root of most celebrity divorces, you will
discover it all boils down to one simple conclusion to which most
females adhere: their men are always at fault. The guilt and punishment
are simply assigned to whoever happens to have the penis. Haven’t you
all redefined coincidence, with all your husbands accused of domestic
violence?
Where
are the pictorial evidences to back up your accusations? Have all
Nigerian men all of a sudden become monsters? Most female celebs now
seem to be focused on exposing their husbands or catching them
red-handed? Not knowing that the more they take that route, the more
convinced they become that their husbands are really cheating.
The
language of most journalists and bloggers (infidelity experts) out
there centres on one theme: “catch, prove and divorce”. Yes your husband
erred, but why let the world know? Does his trial at the public court
make you feel good? Do you feel any more righteous by making him the
villain and you the good guy?
Stop
acting like your secrets are finally out; everyone knows that your
partner didn’t just start having an affair. It is the obvious truth that
most celebrity marriages are built on adultery, and whatever adultery
joins together, adultery shall put asunder. Your emotions wouldn’t be in
turmoil today if you had listened to your gut feelings yesterday. But
my dear, before you decide to take the road of divorce to wherever it
may lead, you must first consider the real cost of going that route.
This
is because If you choose to get a divorce without knowing the real
reason your husband cheated on you in the first place, you’d just be
circling around the same problem instead of fixing it and preventing it
from happening in the future. Put your emotions aside for a moment and
ask yourself, why on earth would your husband fall into the arms of
another woman when he has a caring, compassionate and loving woman at
home?
Ask
yourself where you went wrong. Maybe the reason you had a cheating
husband was because he had a set of needs that you were unable to
fulfill because of your gallivanting lifestyle as a celebrity. The blame
often starts within the walls of your mind and results in you holding
him responsible for the collapse of the marriage. At this point, nothing
he says could ever provide an adequate answer, but you just keep asking
the same questions over and over again. People should also know that in
most celebrity divorces, not all blames come from within.
Some
of the most painful and damaging blames come from people outside the
marriage, who feel they need to pass judgments. To the press and
bloggers having a swell time with every celebrity divorce, I hope you
know that it’s very easy to lay blames when you’re on the sidelines. You
are acting like a spectator at a football match with a bird’s-eye view
of all the action, while those playing on the field get consumed by the
waves of emotions that accompany their divorce.
To
our female celebrities, whenever you find yourself wanting to lay those
blames, please relax for a moment and think about the appropriateness
of the blames. Think about the consequences of your accusations. Try to
examine the situation from multiple viewpoints.
And
to you husbands who are being blamed, especially after you have cheated
or been mistaken to have cheated, please understand that your women are
lashing out because of their fears and insecurities. And as a man,
there is a great level of maturity in accepting responsibility for your
behaviour and taking the blame for your actions. Divorce is a winless
game that is best not played. In Onyeka Onwenu’s voice, may there be
peace in our homes. Amen.
As seen on Punchng.
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